Tuesday, 3 November 2009

It's Not a Race journal page

I had a chat with a friend of a friend at a barbeque Friday night. This beautiful, charismatic woman had had a dream to be a psychologist, but instead she owns a clothing boutique. She felt she had to run this business in order to support her mother and family in Brazil. It is a beautiful shop that sells very nice clothing. She is counting her years to retirement.
She said to me "It must be so wonderful to spend your life doing what you love."

It is. It is wonderful.
It is also scary, unprestigious, sometimes embarrassing, confronting, anxiety provoking, difficult, challenging, humiliating... I don't mean to be negative and I am not complaining, but there are reasons most people don't do it.

People talk about doing what you love like it is the answer to all one's unhappiness. Reality check. You give up stuff. There are many sacrifices. This culture is not set up to support people in doing what they love, and it doesn't.

That said, I love being an artist. Not because it is fun. It often isn't. Painting when you feel like it is one thing -- painting regardless of how you feel is something else. Some days it goes well, most days it doesn't. Most days I don't find painting easy.

I think I love being an artist because it is really intense. Because my studio is where I feel entirely myself. It is where I can and should be completely honest - though that is a continual struggle. Because I always feel challenged. Because inspiration feels like life running through me. Because being an artist feels like coming Home.

Finally, and maybe the biggest reason, is that in my studio I can continually create the world as I believe it truly is, rather than how it appears to be.

14 comments:

Harnett-Hargrove said...

Yes, Art records the moment. And those moments I would not change for any others. Wonderful, thoughtful work. -Jayne

Rhomany said...

So true. When I had the corporate job I had to worry if I had enough money to see me through til the next paycheck. Now I worry whether I have enough coming in to pay the bills next month.
It was a big scarey leap but I wouldn't change it back. I'd rather be stressed and happy than miserable and longing for more.
Wonderful page btw, I love that combination of colours.

Avital said...

Wonderful post (stunning art journaling) I believe I will be thinking about your words at the very least all day long... Thanks!

Artiste Nouveau said...

Hmmm...great post Zom. Very thought-provoking.

lilasvb said...

very nice

Alix said...

Being a writer is like this, as well. The work is not easy and you give up things. But with art and writing, it is so worth it to me.

gypsy said...

Zom, I so enjoyed this eloquent post and found your words inspiring. Since I started focusing on art, I am happier than ever. It's just me. And it's amazing that it took 20 yrs as a quantitative analyst to figure that out! ~ Tammy

lilasvb said...

for me being an artist is my everyday life, with very goods and some hard times but it seems that this is what i am : an artist, not with the draws, more with the body and words

Zom said...

I know what you mean Valery, it becomes what you are. Not even who, but what.

lynne h said...

love these pages, zom... xo

Linda said...

While I can imagine being a full time artist, my inner critic would not allow me to believe that I could make a living from it. I am lucky enough to be able to do a job that I like (most of the time) from a home office and create art as well. I feel very lucky to be able to do both.

Linda said...

PS I forgot to say that I love your journal page.

Zom said...

Linda, it is interesting that it is your inner critic that would stop you. In my experience making a living from being an artist is not necessarily related to how good or talented you are.

I think you are lucky. If I could arrange reality, I might choose what you have instead of attempting to make my living from being an artist.

nollyposh said...

You are a wonderful inspiration to me <3 and i Thankyou for being brave enough to be *you* because it means that i can be brave too x