So Zom, what have you done with the life I gave you? You weren't very good at keeping a beautiful house. You didn't have any children, so you must have been pretty selfish. You didn't get much recognition for your art, so you must not have been very good at that either. Why did you wait so long anyway, you should have been out pounding that pavement when you were young. Isn't that your justification for not having children? Did you really work hard enough? What have you accomplished?
But when I try to argue my accomplishments, I don't find that convincing either. Paintings I have done, classes I have taught, a home in the bush, adventures lived, seem irrelevant. Some say it is all about your relationships. Surely that is a place of sweetness, but I haven't done anyone enough good to justify my existence.
So, what does it come down to? Do I have to be a saint? A worldly success? Famous? A mother? When I examine it, it all falls apart. Why do I torture myself like this?
But when I think of my dear ones, my friends, my students, acquaintances, even strangers on the street, I would never feel the need to judge them by such hard assumptions. Then I know the truth, that we are Enough. We are each an individual flower, exquisite in our unique expression - and we don't need to Do anything. It isn't about what we do or achieve. We are Here because we are Wanted. In all our wonderful imperfection.
God made me, you, everyone the way we are because She wanted us. Just that way.
(another post inspired by the wonderful Nollyposh.) tee hee