Consider that the person you admire might represent a shadow side of your self. We have a positive shadow as well as a negative one. Our positive shadow contains those qualities in ourself that we don't feel 'good enough' to claim. You might be creative or clever or smart just like that person you admire. At least consider that the potential for that is within you and that might be why you are so attracted to them.
Lately I have been avidly following the blog Notes from The Voodoo Cafe. Rice is a creative and entertaining woman. She is a true individual. By that I mean someone who has the self-esteem to be truly who they are and express that in the world. She looks eccentric, but not out of a desire to be noticed - it is an expression of her being.
When I was still in high school there was a 'dress code'. It wasn't from the school, we were allowed to wear whatever we wanted, it was from our fellow classmates. Depending on the clique you were part of, you dressed a certain way. Doesn't sound that different from the everyday grown-up world, does it? I don't remember all the ins and outs, but I remember that all the popular girls wore clogs.
I wore ballet slippers. I wasn't a dancer, I just liked them. I also used to wear my Dad's over-sized shirts, and some over-alls that I had made into a dress. I was fortunate in that my family could have afforded to dress me in the popular girls' uniform so I had that option, but I just wasn't interested.
Sometimes I used to paint a flower on my face. I remember feeling rather uncomfortable with the attention I would receive when I did this. I wasn't doing it to be noticed. I felt compelled to express myself this way.
I think over the years I have lost that some. It has been overlaid with too many magazine articles telling me what is in fashion and how to dress for my body type, and now how to dress for my age.
For some reason, the changes of menopause are making me feel free to start the return journey back to that girl who dressed to express herself.